After not having dressed up for, or really participated in, Halloween for at least 10 years… and having been utterly uncreative before (the last time I dressed up for Halloween, I was 15 and wore a generic witch costume)… I decided to go all out this time around:
This was a two costume-change affair. After discovering my prom dress in my closet this weekend (and discovering that in fact, I could still zip it up, even if last time I wore it 9 years ago, it was loose, and this time I could barely breathe), I realized that all I needed was a tiara and elbow-length white gloves to become a (brunette) Cinderella. Quick enough fix. Then, after texting back and forth to various people about this costume (“Is it lame to go to a Halloween party in your prom dress if you’re being completely non-ironic about it?”), I realized my costume was incomplete.
That’s because it only had one part.
After digging out an old brown dress, borrowing an apron from my roommate, finding a dustpan, and buying a 59-cent pumpkin… I had my things ready. At 11:55 p.m., I left the room at the party I was at and ran upstairs to change. When I emerged at 12:01 a.m., the spell had been broken, the tiara was gone, and my coach had turned back into a pumpkin.
I’ve never really dressed up as anything for Halloween because I was too busy worrying about whether or not a potential costume was witty or interesting enough. I’ve had a lot of creative friends over the years. It’s stressful! On the night of Halloween parties I’ve been invited to, I’ve feigned sickness, lied, and just downright rejected or ignored invitations. My fear, and attitude, was downright bizarre considering that anyone who has ever invited me to a Halloween party has been a genuinely nice person.
Some of my inhibitions started to recede during the Slovenian holiday of Pust (a sort of Eastern European Mardi Gras day) in 2011. I dressed up as a butterfly and loved it, even though it was ridiculous. I was on a different continent, mostly surrounded by people I didn’t know that well on the night of the holiday, so I guess I just didn’t care.
Yet still: I didn’t participate in Halloween 2011.
Come 2012, however, something changed. After several frustrating, several annoying, and several disappointing and sad things happened this year, I began to let go a little bit–not because I wanted to, per se, but because I had to. Maturity? Well, er, this led me to the following (obvious) conclusion: I should wear my prom dress on Halloween (thereby fulfilling every 6-year-old girl’s fantasy).
In the end, it was (as most things are) more about me than about anyone else. Until I was comfortable enough with myself to say I WANT TO WEAR A PRINCESS DRESS, AND I DARE YOU TO JUDGE ME, it just wasn’t going to happen.
Halloween comeback success 2012? I’d like to think so.