On loss

Quisque suos patimur Manes.

Or, taken from the Latin: Each of us suffers his own spirit.

And with this, it is easy to see why Dante chose Virgil to be his guide through the Inferno…

But that is not where I meant to start. I return:

Quisque suos patimur Manes.

It’s never easy to consider one’s own spirit–heart, soul, and everything else–much less a higher being’s. It is, sometimes, easier to ignore these things; let them fall into place amid our busy lives (and by fall into place, I mean fall unnoticed); or just forget them.

When I was younger, I thought that faith in God was tied into faith in other people. When people disappointed me, I (wrongly) thought that God had. But that was also beautiful and comforting because when people surprised me, then it seemed like an act of love from God.

I lived by the mantra Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to. I did not get that from scripture. It just somehow spoke to me, as a 6-year-old child, while watching Miracle on 34th Street. It wasn’t just Santa that was at stake; it was everything you could believe in that didn’t make sense or that you couldn’t see.

And maybe it’s true, that faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to. But is faith necessarily believing in people when common sense tells you not to? People come, and people go, and sometimes that’s their fault, sometimes it isn’t…

Either way, closure does not come from another person; this much I’ve learned over the years. It comes from within, from the same place that faith comes from, sadly (or maybe beautifully?).

But oh: Quisque suos patimur Manes.

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