Weirdness

2 Sep

At a chance encounter at a salad bar, my little brother met his fate.

“Excuse me,” a small voice said beside him. He was waiting in line, patiently letting his older sister (me) pile her plate high with the last of the leafy greens in the bowl. He edged slightly closer to me, and neither one of us thought anything of it.

Just as I was about to pile a few green peas onto my plate, organizing them symmetrically, we heard a voice.

“Well, excuuuuse you!” the voice came from behind my little brother this time, as a hand pushed him forward, nearly into me.

A young waitress was waiting beside my brother with a chair; apparently he hadn’t moved far enough forward to let her through. Having been more interested in the symmetry of my salad design than what was going on beside and behind him, he hadn’t thought to look back. In his defense, the salads I create are usually beautifully symmetrical and masterpieces of the monochromatic color scheme: I was just about to add a few broccoli spears to the mix.

The girl edged her way behind him, as my little brother moved forward, the young waitress passed by with her chair, and the woman who had excused my little brother muttered to herself nonsensically as she compiled a very uneven, non-symmetrical salad.

This would have been the end of it, except that my little brother is, well, no longer so little as a teenager, and he kept exclaiming: “Who excuses someone else? Can you even do that?”

All of us gathered at the table agreed with his repeated observation: “That was seriously weird.”

I am not retracting my agreement with that statement, but after reading this week’s news, I can’t help but think that there are an infinite number of weirder things that have happened that week. While I’d like to write about them all, I present the following three pieces of evidence:

– In Kansas City, Missouri, this week, a mother and her son and daughter were sitting in their living room when they heard a giant boom overhead. As the mother tells KMBC-TV, her son said: “Mama, there’s a truck in the ceiling!” To which she responded: “And I’m like, ‘A truck in the ceiling?’ And we all ran out of the house.”

Indeed, police determined an SUV with three passengers flew off the nearby road and into the family’s attic, thus rendering, as the woman’s son so aptly put it, “a truck in the ceiling.”

The good news: no one was hurt, the 20-year-old driver of the SUV was charged with careless driving, and the Red Cross helped the family find temporary shelter.

– In Toledo, Ohio, this week, police nabbed their primary suspect in a recent spree of small flag thefts. Day after day, newly placed tiny American flags were disappearing from a local police memorial.

Last Wednesday, two officers caught their culprit in action: a squirrel.

The Associated Press (AP) reports that police “also spotted a squirrel’s nest made of leaves and branches—and at least two of the little flags.”

The report also clarifies, however, that the lieutenant the reporter spoke with was “careful to point out he can’t prove all were the work of the same squirrel.”

– We’re all cutting back in some ways due to the years-long economic crisis at hand, and who wouldn’t blame a couple for trying to save a few bucks on their wedding reception?

The only problem? If you decide to shoplift $1,000 worth of food from a supermarket in order to feed your guests.

Well, the other problem is getting caught.

Last week, a couple from Centre Hall, Pennsylvania, did just that—and landed themselves behind bars rather than at their wedding reception, the AP reports.

The kicker? They’re being held for $2,500 bail—more than twice the value of the food they tried to steal.

To all this, I have only one thing left to say: That was seriously weird.

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